Good Night, Sweet Burk

Year 8 hunt for Boneyard's Burk-cult was

Survivors had terrible luck at scoring hits or wounds. Sure, most of us needed to roll at least five to wound. The one survivor that was wounding on 2+ was continuously outrun by Screaming Antelope.

And was that devil fast. Cards like Gore and Run Down had the Antelope move three times per turn. That's just too much. More often than not every survivor managed to stay out of Diabolical path, but usually the Antelope was facing in such direction that it just ran out of reach.

There was a Dead Monster on the board, though, so survivors got to start the showdown. Tactics card drawn was Lance Formation, so that rather useless tactic saw use in this showdown. I don't expect to see another Lance Formation use any time soon.

Anyway, Samuel with Counterweighted Axe started in the lance position.

"Burk would be proud" moment was when within the three hits there was already trap.

Such tragicomedy seemed to permeate the beginning of the fight at every turn. Just as survivors had - it was perhaps turn five or six - scored a few wounds in to the beast, it healed back to full with Chow Down. Chow demoralizing.

But Burgette, Samuel, Mal-Mal and Elmoak put up a good fight, though. There was a point where it looked like survivors were slowly but not steadily gaining the upper hand.

And maybe they could have won, but last two cards were Run Down and Stomp. That's a terrifying combination, as Stomp draws additional AI card if it deals damage. So if it did, it was almost guaranteed knock down. Then it would draw Run Down that has +3 speed vs knocked down targets.

Mal-Mal was the last survivor to exist. She had Tough fighting art and Screaming Skirt waist armor. Now, if she only would've had Last Man Standing fighting art to secure victory. But she didn't.

We didn't play the showdown entirely through, because Mal-Mal received Disemboweled injury, so no matter the outcome survivors would lose. On the other hand there were so many horrendous puns throughout the game that maybe... just maybe we deserved to lose.

Settlement event was Haunted.

We had two survivors in the camp. Jessie with broken back and deaf Candice with intracranial hemorrhage. King's Man fight next.

So Jessie was banished from the settlement into the wilderness.

Candice ate Lonely Fruit and died.

Burkyard ended up in ruins in a true Shakespearean style.

But hey, it was fifth lost settlement. First milestone triggered there.

If only a look could kill...

Burk is dead! Long live Burk! Oh...

Another year has passed in Burkyard.

I mean, Boneyard.

Year 7 began with Manhunter fight. We had Candice, Mal-Mal, Samuel and Avatar of Burk confronting this enigmatic figure that had come to claim, well, did anyone even ask what it was about to claim?

Probably not, as Burk and Manhunter started grinning at each other intensely, which quickly evolved into a staring contest.

Mal-Mal's Red Fist secret fighting art gave us the edge we needed, and showdown went on well enough.

Burk used caratosis X to infict automatic hit with Clawhead Arrow. This hit Manhunter in the shoulder. Slowly he turned around and gave Burk a look that sent him fleeing the scene.

Manhunter shot some volleys into the air and dealt intracranial hemorrhage to Candice. Soon enough there was only one card left in Manhunter's AI deck.

It was Murderous Gaze, and it targeted Burk. Don't ask how, but this was enough to decapitate Burk. Manhunter had won their staring contest. He probably fulfilled whatever his secret mission was, because he died soon after.

This was annoying, because it is so rare to get a savior with Survival of the Fittest. And Boneyard lost the savior in the first showdown. I suppose Burk was the savior Boneyard did not need, but deserved.

Who would follow in Burk's footsteps? Who would be able to fulfill the destiny that was written in the stars? In a shaking handwriting and incoherent contents, but written in the stars nonetheless!

It was Burk's number #1 fan, who discovered her one, true name.

Burgette.

We hunt a level 1 antelope, which isn't much of a problem. When survivors return, year 8 begins with incomprehensible glossolalia. Nobody understands what each other is saying. And true to her calling, Burgette steps forward and invents a completely new language, becoming the Mother of Words.

I envision that in this new language every noun is "Burk".

Next we might try level 2 Screaming Antelope before King's Man encounter.

Burk Reborn

The story of Boneyard settlement has continued with one full lantern year. And what a year it was.

Year six hunt was chosen to be Flower Knight, and hunting part consisted of Candice, Frampt, Jessie and... Burk.

Misadventures during hunt phase apparently were not enough. Acid rains were melting the faces off from survivors, Flesh Monolith was around scaring our miserable humans (not Burk, then), perhaps later causing Candice to get overloaded with grief in leg-breaking lengths.

To show his commitment to the future of the hunt, Burk tore off his waist cloth at forest gates. What a hero.

I have considered Flower Knight to be somewhat of an easy opponent. Well, not "easy" in the sense of just running through while reading a book. In my mind it has been nicely balanced in how it seems to drain all the resources survivors have without actually killing off anyone that easily. In this fight that all changed.

Burk manages to land Clawhead Arrow on the Knight, and Frampt had his trusty spear doing damage quite reliably. Sounds good so far, but he was the only one doing anything at all for the most part of this fight.

Early in the game Jessie had her spine broken, so she didn't have much else to do than use bandages.

Candice, while scoring hits well enough with her bare hands, just could not deal any damage. She would have scored wounds on 4+, and criticals on 7+. She rolled 1 or 2 for wounds, and this continued on and on until the very end of the game. Bad luck on her attacks was ridiculous - eventually she was scoring critical wounds on 3+, and yet did not manage a single wound.

When she started inflicting critical wounds on 2+, she started to get the job done.

A demoralizing prospect for the whole settlement was when Burk died to a major artery cut. He was the self-titled hope and future of settlement - now dead. Settlement lost Twilight Sword and Ancient Lantern as well. But then we did not know it was Burk's plan all along, something that he saw inevitable to happen...

Frampt also had his spine broken. Soon after Burk died, Candice received the Performance Anxiety disorder. It was the consequence Burk's spirit aiding her during the fight, I suppose. And she sure needed it, because after Frampt had his back wrecked, winning the fight relied pretty much (literally) on her hands.

There were some amazing moves on Flower Knights part, fairly epic. Especially when survivors somehow managed to not die to them. First, Flower Knight drags everyone into the Fairy Ring with trap card. Next happens this attack, that gains extra speed from survivors inside the ring, and every survivor who is damaged, gets knockback. First drag in, then punching everyone out again. This might have been some frustration on Knight's part, as it had been trying to drag somebody in multiple times during the fight with this attack that makes Flower Knight move outside of the ring - failing every time.

Frampt dies to bleeding tokens. There's only Jessie with her broken back and deaf Candice with broken arm and broken leg.

Survivors are victorious, but at what cost?

Settlement event was Silk Storm, so at least there was some respite.

There's three Love Juices in the settlement storage, and we had only four survivors alive. One with Performance Anxiety disorder, no less.

Samuel and Mal-Mal start to breed like rabbits - and very first result was a lantern 10 and a lantern 10.

Wow.

A savior with Survival of the Fittest principle.

Savior of Caratosis, the Avatar of Burk had entered the settlement. In the moment of direst of need. A spark of hope. But what kind of hope?

Remaining Love Juices give one extra population per potion, and both require a once-per-lifetime roll to be used. But while it is still no a healthy population, matters are no longer critical.

What to do when things go badly, but are not critical? Fight the Manhunter, of course.

That's where we'll be heading next.

Wish Boneyard some luck.

Boneyard, continued

So, another session of 4-player Kingdom Death.

Year 4 was a sorry fight against the enthusiastic and playful Young Lion via Candice challenge scenario.

It's just...

I feel sorry for that lion. Whole fight it was sitting in the middle of nest of spiderlings, stuck in this gooey substance, begging for mercy.

Yeah, it had attempted to make a clever trap for survivors, but somehow got entangled itself. It managed to spring it's trap, but only to jump one meager space, before bogging down again. Or maybe it just wanted to play. Or maybe it was scared, because it didn't attack all that much, thanks to Ground Fighting.

Young Lion was so sluggish in it's movements that every survivor had time to dig into the nest and spawn some spiderlings, which they could cut up at leisure. Survivors did find someone buried in the webs. Perhaps for too long, as we were about to find out. But for now, Maldorox was saved.

Settlement event is Weird Dream. The story has to tell about your child, perpetual farting and realizing that you are the child. Burk saw a most wondrous dream about a gassy crater filled with unborn babies, one of which he was himself. Storytelling was astonishing, and gave us four endeavors for a total of seven.

Settlement received Lantern Oven and innovated Bloodletting. Finally settlement saw some real intimacy (A paradox? Sadly, not on this day and age, I suppose) and Maldorox and Jessie received twins, Mal-Mal and Samuel. We chose the Spartan way, Survival of the Fittest.

This year also triggered Hooded Knight. She was so triggered that she forced Twilight Sword to Burk. So, this particular homicidal maniac with disturbing subconsciousness is now to become the undisputed hero figure of Boneyard. Unsettling to say at least.

Year 5 hunt was Screaming Antelope, which goes down easily enough.

And the loot-bag nature of the Antelope showed itself. In total we received 7 Antelope resources, one vermin and four basic resources. On top of this Armored Strangers toss extra six resources.

Settlement event was Haunted, and Maldorox was convinced that there were spiders absolutely everywhere. Everyone was so annoyed from his paranoia that he was cast out from the settlement.

We also decided to include Flower Knight expansion, so we did the story event. Sleeping Virus Flower was given to Candice.

Boneyard: the grim beginning

Oh my. The players are going to love this when they read it.

Anyway. First time ever I got to play a 4-player Kingdom Death.

Prologue lion killed my character and bit the eye off another, but otherwise prologue went surprisingly well. Settlement was named Boneyard, and we had nine survivors after returning survivors.

Three endeavors innovated Ammonia for us, and Skinnery and Bonesmith.

Year 1 hunt goes amazingly well. White Lion ambushes survivors on the second space on hunt board. Thanks to some Ground Fighting abuse we managed to kill the great cat without too much hassle. All the survivors were on the verge of dying, but I don't think anyone actually got permanent injuries. In fact it was the settlement event Rivalry that made my character take gaping chest wound.

Settlement builds Organ Grinder and innovates Paint. Two auguries don't give even slightest moment of intimacy for anyone.

Year 2 hunt is already Screaming Antelope, and I'm genuinely baffled on how easily that beast went down, too. First card was Chowdown, so survivors scavenged what they could while Antelope grazed from plant to plant. Nearing the end of the showdown, things went absurd. One of the players wanted to train fist & tooth proficiency, and was running besides Screaming Antelope, punching it as it wandered aimlessly. It had no cards in AI deck and since there were no knocked down survivors, it just trod with equal speed with survivors, thanks to one -1 Movement token.

Settlement event is Heatwave. Rivalry loses it's impetus.

Settlement builds Weapon Crafter and innovates Hovel. There was at least one attempt at augury. I don't quite remember what the last one was - possibly even more augury.

Year 3 hunt is The Butcher.

That's right. Year. Three.

So, I dare our dear players to lynch me next time we meet, for we fought Butcher one year earlier than we were supposed to. Prologue still messes up my mind when it comes to Lantern Year progress. Also, Screaming Antelope was a surprising quarry for lantern year 2, so I thought intuitively that next was the horrifying Butcher fight.

Random terrain cards were the Lonely Tree and the Nightmare Tree. Boneyard is on the edge of a forest, I believe.

The fight itself. Oh, we could have done it. We had a player wounding Butcher on 4's, but he failed far over half of his wound rolls. We dashed and danced all around Butcher in a most professional manner, and with only a little bit of luck here and there could have been victorious.

Maybe it could have been enough if my character wouldn't have died to the very first Severe Injury roll she had to make. All the other survivors died to bleed tokens, most resulting from Dreaded Trophies.

So, it was a full wipe at Butcher. But let's sigh from relief. I mean, it's the worst that can happen, it's all for the better from now on, right? Wrong.

Settlement event is Murder, so I suppose Butcher's lunacy truly was contagious even outside of the actual showdown.

Then.

Let's talk about Burk for a second. Earlier he had poked a gaping chest wound to my character during their rivalry, which is understandable. Accidents happen. But.

It didn't stop there, no. In fact, the hunger grew and now he murdered the most experienced survivor settlement had. Didn't get caught, though. Now HE was the most experienced survivor - no doubt his ultimate goal. To be the leader.

But then it was time to have population bloom. Eight endeavors prompted quite a few auguries, and Burk decided to become the progenitor of new fierce warriors.

Well, his only contact with other survivors had left a permanent mark on him. Mostly just violence and death. Mother (Igorina, was it?) and the child both perished. Burk figured out he had done a grave mistake somewhere along the road, but couldn't quite gather, where. Ashamed he received Performance Anxiety (cannot be nominated for Intimacy).

Population: One male, one female and one Burk.

All the rest attempts at Augury yield absolutely nothing. So actual year 4 begins with three survivors. But since we now have one surprise year worth of hunt out of nowhere with relatively good gear, this settlement is definitely salvageable as long as we have a breeding pair without performance anxieties (which, I must admit, developed out of a very good reason.)

But since the session ended, I realized we still have two endeavors left - one gained from Murder and one from the botched intimacy attempt.

I'm going to suggest we spend one of them for Candice & Ancient Lantern challenge scenario to have a decent chance to save the settlement.