That warbeast, Gnarlhorn Satyr, has a long history of failing at just about everything it tries or is designated to do. It's becoming more and more hilarious each time it happens. So, today I checked all of my games played with Circle and tagged the most egregious examples of what it means to be a Failhorn Satyr. I didn't tag too obscure games where it was quite likely that Gnarlhorn Satyr failed somehow, so the actual number of Failhorn Satyr sightings are higher than those documented.
Now, joking aside and a little bit of honest speaking, too. Some of the Failhorn taggings are actually my very own blunders and poor choices. But the thing here is that Failhorn Satyr either fails personally, or I make foolish mistakes with it myself. Sometimes both.
So. Today I played a 50 point warmachine game. My list was:
Krueger the Stormlord
- Riphorn Satyr
- Gnarlhorn Satyr
- Gorax
Maximum unit of Bog Trog Ambushers
Druids of Orboros
Minimum unit of Tharn Ravagers + Chieftain
Shifting Stones + Stone Keeper
Lord of the Feast
Blackclad Wayfarer
2x Gallows Grove
Opponent had:
Intercessor Kreoss
- 2x Vanquisher
Maximum unit of Choir of Menoth
Maximum unit of Temple Flameguard + Unit Attachment
2x Vassal of Menoth
Wracks
Vassal Mechanik
Rhupert Carvolo
Scenario was Two Fronts and Protectorate started game. First picture is from the end of Circle turn 1. Holy Ward is on Temple Flameguard, and Krueger has put up Stormwall.
Turn 2 Protectorate pretty much ran again, which makes me terribly worried. Their warjacks were continuously shielded from magic, so there was no pushing or pulling them. And now there were Reckoner deep in my friendly zone and Vanquisher about there also. One Reckoner was a couple of inches deep in my enemy zone surrounded with two Temple Flameguards, Vassal of Menoth and Vassal Mechanik. And Vanquisher right there in the neighbourhood. My friendly zone was lost, but it looked like there was an opening in trying to win by scenario.
Bog Trogs enter play and kill Rhupert, that's all.
Gnarlhorn Satyr charges the objective. Destroying it would ease getting a charge lane to Reckoner with Riphorn Satyr. Buuuut... Gnarlhorn Satyr does what Gnarlhorn Satyr seems to do best. I even put the dice for the final damage roll to the picture. Objective had three damage boxes left. It was two fury points down (or up?) though, as it had used Bounding on Riphorn Satyr.
Next Krueger uses Telekinesis on Riphorn Satyr and then he charges the objective. He needed 9+ to destroy it. Failing that, he'd be on fire. This time Krueger finishes objective. Then he uses feat, but pushes and pulls so that Reckoner in the zone doesn't move. Sadly one Temple Flameguard still remains in the zone. Last he casts Stormwall and hopes for the best.
Riphorn Satyr then charges Reckoner. In the picture Riphorn is the orange proxy base. Charge attack hits. It uses boosted horns to strike that Flameguard, but rolls 10 when it needed 11 to hit. Looking back now, I should've left the horns last. Second initial claw hits Reckoner and Riphorn performs double handed throw against a Temple Flameguard nearby. I had already lost at least five minutes in figuring out what the heck to do to the Flameguard grunt in my enemy zone. But then, while performing the throw, I realised that larger targets fly over smaller ones.
The answer to my problems came kind of by accident. As enemy warjacks had been shielded from spells, they were free prey to Lord of the Feast. He threw his bird at a Vanquisher and teleported so that he had a choir member within reach, a couple of Flameguards along with their officer, and as an added extra bonus, a Vassal of Menoth. The "kind of" accident here was that I had wanted to mess up with enemy formation somehow, though I was unsure if that particular model was regular unit leader or the officer. Of course one could have asked...
With a few extra attacks generated from the menite corpses, the officer died. This, in turn, placed exactly that Temple Flameguard out-of-formation that I had stressed over for nearly ten minutes.
Ravagers screen Krueger, and that's all. One Druid under Vortex cloud was contesting my friendly zone along with a Gallows Grove.
Turn 3 Protectorate attempts shenanigans, but this is apparently foiled by a Flameguard who had not moved. Trying his best he tried to contest my enemy zone, but only got Reckoner, Vassal of Menoth and three Temple Flameguards there.
If dice would screw me over hard enough, I guess I could have failed to remove the infantry models from there somehow. But this was not the case, when Ravagers did exemplary job at clearing them.
But let's not get too far ahead. Before any of this happened, there was start of turn with all the things you associate to that. Namely, threshold checks.
Gnarlhorn Satyr had been pushed back two inches, though now I suspect that I forgot about anti-magic field. However, closest target was now Krueger.
It was a relief when Gnarlhorn Satyr missed, despite needing 9+ to hit. So thank you, Gnarlhorn Satyr, for being consistent, at least!
Game ended in scenario victory for Circle, when Riphorn Satyr forced animus and pushed the Reckoner away from zone.
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