The Thousand Chills

 A 50 point game of Warmachine.

My list:

Horruskh with Inviolable Resolve and Silence of Death
-Tyrant with Relentless Charge, Ripper and Harpoon
-Jackal with Arc Node, Pole Arm and Shield
Strike Reavers & Standard
Assault Reavers
Ulkor Barragers
Maulgreth, Charnel Plague

Opponent had:

Bane Witch Agathia
- 2x Slayer
-Deathripper
-Defiler
2x Bane Warrior units
2x Pistol Wraiths

Cryx went first and had a pretty symmetrical Bane Warriors  - Bonejack - Slayer - Pistol Wraith - Agathia formation that was mirrored on the other flank. Orgoth had Ulkor Barragers, Horruskh and Tyrant in the middle, Strike Reavers on the left and the rest on the right. Silence of Death went to Tyrant and Inviolable Resolve on Assault Reavers.

Second turn Cryx continues flanking operation with Bane Warriors spreading near table edges, just contesting the rectangular zones. Cryxian forces kept their distance and even used Agathia's feat defensively. Fortunately a single Strike Reaver was the only casualty that turn.

It was obvious feat round for Horruskh. Strike Reavers went to take shots against enemy objective. Tyrant missed Deathripper with harpoon and I completely forgot about Fate Blessed. Oh well, Assault Reavers went within 5" of Deathripper and dragged the thing into melee with them. Damage wasn't all that impressive, but at least there were was armor 19, 4+ tough detachment that wouldn't get knocked down in the middle. They received tough from command card.

Ulkor Barragers couldn't figure out anything better to shoot than Agathia, and so didn't really do anything. Maulgreth had the sorry duty of contesting rectangular zone on right, with Jackal standing nearby. 

Cryx then activates and Slayer on the right is absolutely on fire. It kills both Maulgreth and objective, thus getting two control points! What a disaster. At least damage made by Slayer and Deathripper in the middle was tolerable - only two Assault Reavers died. A pistol wraith shot one Ulkor Barrager stationary and the other killed a Strike Reaver. Bane Warriors just closed in as they were a bit far from the action.

The scenario pressure was real. And it didn't help when Strike Reavers tried to do double duty and kill corporeal Pistol Wraith and destroy the objective - failing at both. Assault Reavers relocated a little and tried to poke holes in Deathripper, but didn't accomplish much. Ulkor Barragers did more damage to Deathripper with blast damage when they shot at hellwrought Slayer in the middle.

It certainly pained me when Jackal had to charge Slayer on the left rectangular zone and left it with only around four or five damage boxes remaining, although Maulgreth had already softened the helljack a little with defensive strike. 

Deathripper in the middle didn't have too many damage boxes left, so Horruskh who had two focus points charged the thing. He needed to roll only around six with three dice if the charge attack hit. If the charge attack hit.

It didn't, not even with re-roll. At least last bought attack removed the Deathripper from board and triggered Blood Boon, which went into Inviolable Resolve on Horruskh, but still my warcaster was now in the middle with zero focus.

Tyrant manages to land harpoon against hellwrought Slayer and totals the helljack, which evens score as Horruskh controlled the flag and plenty of units had the circular zone.

Agathia attempts assassination, which started to look a real possibility when first Pistol Wraith death chilled him. After that all the remaining attacks hit without effort, and while they didn't do a lot of damage, each point counted towards Horruskh's demise. The other Pistol Wraith chilled Horruskh a second time and Defiler splurged bile over Horruskh. Agathia charged Horruskh, cast Parasite on him and attacked a couple of times. He sure is a tough fellow, as even after this The Thousand Wraths was standing with around six damage boxes or so.

But with -5 armor, the assassination wasn't resting on remaining Slayer's shoulders. It was on rightmost Bane Warriors. Jackal with Set Defense and shield was engaging the Cryxian heavy. Warriors were hitting on 8+, dealing damage with dice -6.

Out of five attacks only one missed. Granted, two attacks in removed Set Defense from equation. 

Jackal went down, and so went stationary Horruskh.

Exe For an Exe

 A 50ss game of Malifaux on Vassal.

Strategy: Flank Carve a Path

Schemes: Assassinate, Catch & Release, Secret Meetup, Leave Your Mark, Hidden Martyrs

My list:

Jack Daw & Lady Ligeia
Montresor
Yannic Waller
Jaakuna Ubume
Auguste Hart
Hanged
Dead Outlaw

Stones: 5
Schemes: Leave Your Mark, Hidden Martyrs (Yannic & Dead Outlaw)

Opponent had:

Lucius Mattheson & The Scribe
Agent 46 with Lead Linen Coat
Death Marshal Recruiter
Guild Mage
Doppleganger
2x Guild Lawyer

Stones: 3
Schemes: Leave Your Mark, Hidden Martyrs (Recruiter & a Lawyer... whoops!)

Turn 1:

I deployed kind of horribly. I sent Auguste and Hanged to deliver a strategy marker from bottom that had a great dividing terrain piece, meaning Auguste would be out of action at least for a few turns. 

Of course I didn't know it when I deployed that Guild would start pushing both their markers from the middle. But that 2" aura of interact control sure would have come handy...

Everything else I got was in the middle, as were Guild's models. Jack Daw managed to land Curse of Injustice on Agent 46, which felt important. Even Dead Outlaw managed to land severe damage and slow on Death Marshal Recruiter, which also felt like a boon. 

Yeah. Should I trust my feelings?

Turn 2:

Jack Daw is able to land Curse of Injustice also on Death Marshal Recruiter. And then horror began.

Agent 46 mimics Death Marshal's pine box attack. That's one insane combo, as Doppelganger and Agent retain their own stat on a stat 3 attack that is resisted with size. Agent 46 must be quite the tetris player when it was able to fit both Montresor and Jack Daw inside a pine box in the same activation.

Fortunately Montresor had not activated yet, so at least he came back to have his auras around.

The horror changed into terror when the full extent of aura hell of Guild Mage, Recruiter, Guild Lawyers and even Scribe dawned on me. 

Lawyers healed stuff just by activating and doing their thing with zero cost whatsoever. Or, more accurately, Guild Mage did while Lawyers were discarding. Lawyers spammed Shielded around, making a joke out of Montresor's stagger aura. So, Death Marshal Recruiter kept slowly healing. 

Try to attack Guild Lawyers? They can discard and heal. Mind you, no cheating because Scribe makes you discard if you cheat. And if you somehow manage to chew one of them dead, well, it just turns into a Death Marshal and something heals again from the very act of summoning a Death Marshal...

Seemed to me like the only real option was to kill Death Marshal Recruiter while it just keeps healing before it would be of any use to attack the softer targets. Guild Mage was positioned in such a way that I couldn't get to him.

I poured everything I had on the Recruiter. Jaakuna, Montersor and even Lady Ligeia did their best effort in removing the Marshal. Surprisingly Lady Ligeia was the single most effective source of damage, scoring moderate injury with triple negatives, blasting two points over to Guild Lawyer, too.

But still the Marshal was left alive with three wounds remaining.

Doppleganger had come to deliver a strategy marker to my deployment zone and tease Yannic Waller a bit. Yannic manages to daze her. 

Dead Outlaw had removed enemy scheme marker from middle and placed his own within 1" of center point. But then activated Guild Mage, who used rule of law to turn it into guild scheme. 

Auguste pushes strategy marker closer to enemy deployment, and Hanged tries to come a little closer to action. I really shouldn't have sent Hanged with Auguste Hart... that heal reducing aura could have been the counter for Guild Mage that I needed.

Oh well, anyway, scores go 2-1 for Guild when both get strategy and Guild gets Leave Your Mark.

Turn 3:

Jaakuna charges Recruiter and has him in her hazardous aura. Yannic disengages from Doppleganger and charges Recruiter. Montresor charges Recruiter through hazardous terrain. Hanged tries to score On Your Heels and enter the middle, but no such luck.

Somewhat frustrating, I must admit. So in the end, Jack Daw had to emerge from Agent 46's pine box and shoot the damnable Recruiter finally dead. He gets rid of distracted by attacking Recruiter with Drawn to Betrayal.

Too bad I had spent all of my soulstones while trying to kill Recruiter.

And Jack Daw uses last card from my hand, and really needed that last card.

I knew I took a risk since Agent 46 had not yet activated and was ready to lose Jack or have him down to two or so damage remaining. But I had not read Agent's card that thoroughly.

Jack Daw - executed. 

Well, at least Lady Ligeia continued to scream effectively, nearly killing Doppleganger. 

Auguste kicks strategy marker to enemy deployment zone.

Scores go 4-2 when both get strategy and Guild reveals illegal Hidden Martyrs. I noticed that only now. 

Turn 4:

Jaakuna puts up Drowning Aura and Guild easily navigates through it with Guild Lawyers' Shielded spam. Agent 46 escapes from the middle where Auguste is able to charge him and not do much of anything. 

Opponent spends his entire hand to obeys and mitigating my attempts to deal damage. Lucius had used misinformation and removed a twelve from my hand. In it's place I had received Red Joker. Opponent had also spent all soulstones. 

To avenge Jack Daw, Montresor activated, walked and charged Guild Mage through tiniest of openings and - hell yeah - cheated Red Joker on melee attack. This had me discard from Scribe and also to discard to Counterspell. Unfortunately my cards were moderates, so opponent got to heal. But damn was it a relief to execute Guild Mage!

Dead Outlaw had shown some exceptional resilience, but had fallen to Agent 46 before it ran off to meet with Auguste.

Yannic had to go to kick a strategy marker past centerline. Hanged creeps towards enemy strategy marker in my deployment zone. 

Doppleganger manages to stagger Lady Ligeia, and then it was end of turn.

Scores go 5-4 for Guild when both score strategy and Outcasts get Hidden Martyrs.

Turn 5:

Yannic goes to push my last strategy marker to enemy deployment zone. 

I try to lock Lucius in place so that I'd get second point of Hidden Martyrs by luring Yannic to engage someone. But then I realize Jaakuna has no line of sight to Yannic, so Montresor is cursed to watch as Jaakuna disengages to a better position next to Agent 46 who had already activated.

Both Guild Lawyers had also activated, so when it was time to activate Jaakuna, she needed to hit a 5 twice, since I had no cards in hand. Montresor had spent them when he failed to watch Jaakuna's disengagement. 

But no fives came. With second lure I tried to get at least Montresor away from Guild Lawyer who was Hidden Martyr, but even that lure was a failure.

Hanged tried to deny point by getting strategy marker out of my deployment, but Lucius did some Lucius shenanigans and even that plan was foiled.

So the game ended 8-5 for Guild.

Wow it broke

Finally the last few lantern years of Enerva settlement of Kingdom Death.

 Lantern Year 28 - King's Man level 3

Menoloromias, Laifuseuskaja, Syllogi and Voxanius all go through a cycle of brain traumas. Without that particular mechanic King's Man would not have offered any real challenge, but now there was at least a sense of urgency - only available re-roll was on Laifuseuskaja and he would have to save it for himself in any case. 

Laifuseuskaja took a permanent evasion from a hit location.

Menoloromias tossed a Founding Stone when the King's Man was at last remaining wound, thus getting afflicted with the King's Curse. But he is close to retirement anyway.

Lantern Year 29 - Open Maw

Settlement event was Open Maw. Lepuri, thinking he was immortal, went to check the opening. Soon enough the mouth chomped on him not once but twice - on the five dice I rolled, there were two pairs of double.

1: Lepuri jumps into the Open Maw in search of the lamplighter.
2-3: Voxanius investigates two cocoon membranes and two broken lanterns beneath Exhausted Lantern Hoard.
4-6: Scrap smelting for five iron.
7-8: Face painting for battle. 
9: Nightmare training x3, ends in 1.
10: Petal Spiral for Naoran, fails.
11: War Room plan is made.
12: Shrine Ritual is success. 

So, I needed a bunch of bones for finishing my first ever lantern armor set. Gigalion is likely the best bet because of various guaranteed teeth and claws.

Lantern Year 29 hunt & showdown - Gigalion level 3:

Laifuseuskaja, Hovelina, Chanial and Tranaree start the hunt. 

First Laifuseuskaja encounters aromatic breeze, which actually was a Gregalope. Next the showdown begins with Ground Fighting in play. And then... a time lapse.

Showdown begins!

Because of Ground Fighting in play, the smart cat was on top of the deck but never drawn... did I just encounter a glitch? 

And to make matters worse, there was testicles coming up in hit location deck, so Laifuseuskaja was able to get a non-stop priority token. Sheesh. At least random terrain offered only debris and toppled pillars. 

The cat got nine wounds and two persistent injuries in before it sprinted to table edge. I felt sorry for it. But I really need those bones...

The showdown was a sad joke with the only damage being brain damage from Golden Eyes and once from Size Up. But the lion had its way of punishing me still.

The resource haul was gravely less than ideal. I received only five organs from random decks and a whopping nine hides. Bones, on the other hand... I got only four of those when I sorely needed them. Fortunately the total bone count is seven, but I'm anxious if they'll be enough.

Lantern Year 30 - Rivalry

The blame game began whose fault it was that settlement received so few bones. 

Hovelina and Tranaree come to blows. Hovelina gets the gaping chest wound, which feels wrong since she has the Manhunter's secret fighting art... oh well. This settlement has been a power trip anyway.

But it turned out I had been screwed over by the resource decks. I did not have enough resources for oxidizing lantern glaive and to complete lantern armor set. I was missing one bone.

Rarely if ever I have used harvest ritual. This time I did, from five resources. And my eyes must have been bulging from their sockets when I drew two monster organs, love juice and two monster hides. 

So, another desperate harvest ritual from four remaining non-bone lion resources. What a weird curse this must be because I still didn't draw even a single monster bone - although I did get two ???'s.

1: Harvest ritual from five monster resources.
2: Another harvest ritual from four monster resources.
3-5: A total of two successful battle paints.
6: Oxidized lantern glaive.
7: Bloodletting to relieve Hovelina from emotionlessness.
8: Hovelina drums for some survival.
9-10: Hovelina gets +1 strength from Nightmare Training.
11: Bloodletting for Laifuseuskaja to remove Motion Sickness.
12: Voxanius gets +1 strength from Nightmare Training.
13: Shrine ritual is a success.

Lantern Year 30 showdown: Gold Smoke Knight

Laifuseuskaja, Hovelina, Menoloromias and Tranaree are the chosen champions to save Enerva. 

Random terrain picks were Acanthus Plants, Resin Dung Ball and Ore Vein. 

Fight starts with Gold Smoke Knight charging at Laifuseuskaja, whom he hits only on 10's. Survivor turn starts nicely with the trap coming up in first four cards. Lucky me I didn't go in blind. Only two wounds were scored, and both came from a single founding stone. Critical location gave Tranaree option to pay eight survival to deal an additional wound.

As is usual, careful management of where survivors stand was key. I was able to make Gold Smoke Knight always target Laifuseuskaja, who was able to surge two deflect tokens and dodge twice thanks to hyper-sensitivity disorder. Nearly every attack Gold Smoke Knight made there were annoyingly one or two lanterns, so it took a heavy toll on Laifuseuskaja's survival. At least he had the manhunter pistol slowly trickling in more of those. 

As long as Laifuseuskaja was able to get behind Gold Smoke Knight, he was wounding on 7+ with two dice. Remaining survivors had it a little harder, Hovelina was scoring wounds with 7+ with only a single die and Voxanius on 16+ with two dice. Yeah, he didn't attack that often at least without the extra dice from horripilation. But once he did - when hit location deck had been emptied and there was only the trap left. 

Since he had oxidized lantern glaive, a spear and an axe,  he tried to negate the trap.

Nope.

That one resulted in first actual damage level in the match - light injury. Woah.

And that was the only injury level throughout the showdown.

Laifuseuskaja took two hits from Blacken once as Gold Smoke Knight had been lucky with lantern 10's, draining all deflect tokens and dodge actions. But that's it. 

It was over.

The aim of this campaign was to break the game and abuse rules and see if game can actually be beaten with its own rules. That Gold Smoke Knight really looked like a tough one. But min/max approach trivialized even the final boss.

The main culprit seemed to be the combination of life-time re-rolls and the Sleeping Virus Flower from Flower Knight. Once you go past a certain threshold of stats, stats seem to start accumulating on that particular survivor since they are able to get into situations where you might get them and pass whatever test they have to make. And then when that survivor finally has to die, well, reset with the already accumulated stats! And get a new re-roll too if you had to use yours already.

First level Manhunter reward is also a major game changer. Such a guaranteed source of a lot of insanity is... insane. That and Crimson Candy innovation give you at least four or five points of survival at start of showdown even if you roll that dreaded "1" in Overwhelming Darkness. 

I think I'll make a comparison campaign next with Survival of the Fittest, Graves and Collective Toil and retaining that horribly overpowered "shared re-roll for all in same phase" ruling, but leaving out Flower Knight and Manhunter.

Hilariously enough, this "speed run" settlement took over two years to finish.

Oh well. Here is a re-cap of showdowns for lantern years:

1: White Lion level 1
2: White Lion level 1
3: White Lion level 1
4: Butcher level 1
5: Manhunter level 1
5: Flower Knight level 1
6: Spidicules level 1
7: Spidicules level 1
8: Spidicules level 1
9: King's Man level 1
10: Manhunter level 2
10: Screaming Antelope level 2
11: The Hand level 1
11: Screaming Antelope level 2
12: Sunstalker level 1
13: The Hand level 1
14: Sunstalker level 1
15: Gigalion level 2
16: Manhunter level 3
16: Butcher level 2
17: Sunstalker level 2
18: Lion God level 1
19: King's Man level 2
20: Sunstalker level 2
21: Sunstalker level 2
22: Manhunter level 4
22: Flower Knight level 3
23: Butcher level 3
24: Gigalion level 3
25: The Watcher
26: Sunstalker level 3
27: Great Golden Cat
28: King's Man level 3
29: Gigalion level 3
30: Gold Smoke Knight

Meeting Expectations

 A 50ss game of Malifaux.

Strategy: Corner Guard the Stash

Schemes: Assassinate, Set the Trap, Spread Them Out, Load 'Em Up, Vendetta

My list was:

McMourning, Insanitary & Zombie Chihuahua
Sebastian
Rogue Necromancy
Corpse Curator
Kentauroi
Nurse
Guild Autopsy
Canine Remains

Pool: 4
Schemes: Vendetta (Autopsy on Black Blood Shaman), Spread Them Out

Opponent had:

Nekima with Inhuman Reflexes & Blood Hunter
Hayreddin
2x Mature Nephilim
Young Nephilim
Black Blood Shaman

Pool: 6
Schemes: Assassinate, Load 'Em Up (corpse)

Turn 1:

Black Blood Shaman did the focus thing with a corpse that Blood Hunter had regurgitated. 

All the remaining Nephilim models? At or near the centerline with Nekima dangerously close to Kentauroi.

Experimentals? They had barely left deployment zone...

Yeah, at least the way I play McMourning2 they have a real slow start. First Canine Remains start to generate corpses, somebody accidentally drops some formaldehyde and poisons everybody, also summoning more dogs to create more corpses... insanity! I even tried to place a sludge hazard marker on top of everyone, but failed to get a suit.

Anyway, Rogue Necromancy had been given some extra legs, so it and a summoned Flesh Construct went north to launch some projectile vomit at Mature Nephilim, both of them missing.

The Kentauroi went to act as a spearhead, and when I said Nekima was dangerously close I didn't quite mean what is in the picture - I nearly forgot to take one, and Nekima has already charged the centaur.

All my other models are in a blob around my table side strategy marker.

Turn 2:

Nekima kills Kentauroi in two connected blows. At least she had to spend all of her actions on attacks, but that cost me Red Joker from hand. 

Summoned Canine Remains picks up a bone from corpse curator, not doing anything particularly useful. And then I lost my chance at running Flesh Construct to attack Nekima - Mature Nephilim charged Rogue Necromancy, dealing heavy damage. 

Nurse pushed Rogue Necromancy into melee with the Mature Nephilim with painkillers. But that only called in additional Mature Nephilims. Rogue Necromancy started to be in such a shape that Zombie Chihuahua had to do some emergency blood poisoning on it.

Hayreddin relocated to middle-left marker.

And then it was time for some desperation. Desperate Plot was used to give extra legs for my vendetta carrier, Guild Autopsy. Masks ensured a second push for Sebastian, although he got no upgrades this time around. Rogue Necromancy was pulled from melee and its melee attack stitched on to Corpse Curator. I think last action was just to concentrate to remove distraction from last turn summons.

And whoa - that savage bite was impressive. First, Curator dredged up a corpse and went to bite Nekima through it, far enough not to trigger scamper. It was some solid four. Then Curator placed toxic sludge and dredged another bite at Nekima through it, dealing some damage again. 

Blood Hunter runs to throw up a corpse near Nekima. I suppose Nekima was going to hurl it back into Blood Hunter's throat and tear a bite out of it herself... but, Guild Autopsy walked with his brand new legs and shot the puppy dead. 

Finally Sebastian charged Nekima and did his things inside sludge marker, getting decent amount of poison in the process. Attacks, however, weren't so decent. Or actually they were, but damage blocks with soulstone by Nekima were even more decent. 

I had the difficult choice of charging into melee with Rogue Necromancy. I think I would have done that if Flesh Construct would have gotten even a single hit in with minimum damage against Mature Nephilim, but that was not to be. Now, the ten point beater with charge upgrade ran to get a victory point from top-left strategy marker.

Points went 1-1 from both players scoring strategy.

Turn 3:

A Mature Nephilim flies to engage McMourning, deals some damage but not overly much after damage blocks.

Sebastian walks to engage Nekima and finish her. She was at, like, four health remaining or so. But either attack missed or all damage was blocked. 

Black Blood Shaman walks and charges Sebastian. With such a damage track, expected damage was one at most. That was until opponent flipped Red Joker for damage. Five points. Not good, dying to Nekima's weak damage. Sebastian promptly used soulstone, trying to block at least two points of damage. Look at that, Red Joker. So the expected damage of one held true, after all.

Since it had worked so well earlier, Corpse Curator begins to dredge up various markers to attack Nekima. But this time around he had to do so with ancient injectors, and didn't score a single hit. At least there was now sludge marker beneath Nekima, Black Blood Shaman and Sebastian. 

Another Mature Nephilim kills off Zombie Chihuahua, so quick heals were now entirely on Sebastian's shoulders. 

I really, really wanted Nekima dead now that I had the chance. So, McMourning activates and disengages from Mature Nephilim to get line of sight to Sebastian. That much succeeds, and after desperate plot Sebastian became an oozing pile of hazardous terrain, right in contact with Nekima. Too bad both enemy models passed hidden bomb checks.

Surgery gave bone saw for summoned Canine Remains, and then I'm wondering what to do with last remaining action. I chose to hit Corpse Curator with surgical instruments to maybe get extra arms one day. I could have made a Flesh Construct instead, though. I don't understand why I didn't. I guess I was afraid that I'd lose Corpse Curator too easily, since it would have gone down to two health remaining or something. 

Then Hayreddin flies within sight of McMourning, loads his shotgun and shoots my precious Nekima-killing stat 7 bone saw dog with moderate damage while having negative modifiers. 

Didn't look like too many Neverborn masters would die this round unless I somehow removed Mature Nephilim that was engaging Flesh Construct. Rogue Necromancy abandoned its post at strategy marker, ambushed for a bit and charged the Mature. It brought the Nephilim down to five health. 

And finally Nekima activates. She buys shove aside for an attack against Sebastian, lands the hit and as a consequence takes only one point of damage from my clever upgrade shenanigans. With the extra attack Nekima was able to force me to do some additional clever upgrade shenanigans - with negative modifiers she was able to deal five points in to my vendetta carrier. Legs fell and "only" three points taken. 

Remaining attacks went to Sebastian and certainly took a toll on my soulstones, but the resurrectionist henchman persevered. 

Suddenly scared, Guild Autopsy creeps along to Corpse Curator and takes a focused shot at Black Blood Shaman, doing nothing. 

Young Nephilim just chills at bottom-right marker. 

Canine Remains runs to top-left marker, and then it was a time for a miracle. Flesh Construct released all of its pent up aggression from continuous failures and punches severe damage in to the Mature Nephilim on first try. Then it walks and vomits over Black Blood Shaman, but the construct was back to its usual business and missed. 

Nurse stunned the remaining Mature Nephilim and healed McMourning a little. 

So, I managed to claim a second strategy point this turn. But also opponent got to reveal Load 'Em Up on corpse markers for a prolonged tie 2-2.

Turn 4:

Nekima charges, engaging McMourning, Sebastian, Guild Autopsy and Corpse Curator. Since McMourning doesn't take charge attacks, my vendetta died with zero points scored. Boo. Also, all my remaining soulstones were spent, protecting my master. 

Nekima had somewhere around five health remaining. McMourning loaned Sebastian's bone saw for a bit and spent all of his action points on attacks against the Nephilim master. And finally, finally the beast fell!

But now McMourning was without protection of an additional Flesh Construct. Hayreddin and Mature Nephilim spent their activations on raining attacks against my master. But he lucked out and also got healed for seven by Nurse and blood poisoning from Sebastian. Nurse also tried to stun Mature Nephilim away from strategy marker, but failed.

Sebastian had went to contest middle-right marker that Black Blood Shaman had ran to control. This drew Young Nephilim from his post, tickling Sebastian with claws a little. 

Canine Remains, Rogue Necromancy and Flesh Construct went to place required markers for Spread Them Out.

Opponent got my strategy marker because Hayreddin was blocking McMourning's line of sight, and I got Spread Them Out, so the tie isn't broken and goes 3-3 instead.

Turn 5:

Flesh Construct goes to place a scheme marker and stand on top of it. 

But then Black Blood Shaman goes to engage Rogue Necromancy. Curses! Now I needed to somehow remove the vendetta target before placing a marker for Spread Them Out. Fortunately I had tools for that - after Young Nephilim had tried to maul Sebastian dead, Corpse Curator takes a double walk and puts up Cursed Sludge. 

I suppose Sebastian had been flipping too good throughout the game. He had been scoring hits quite regularly, so obviously now he had to miss. So it was on Rogue Necromancy to remove Black Blood Shaman with one strike. This was possible, though - the shaman had five health remaining. One severe would do nicely.

Buuut it was only a moderate. There went my Spread Them Out.

Fortunately Hayreddin and Mature Nephilim were struggling with Assassinate, too. Mature didn't exactly miss his attacks, no, but one unfortunate black joker on damage and a severe heal from Nurse caused McMourning to have full health when Hayreddin activated. 

Hayreddin wasn't able to do it alone, so no assassination points for Neverborn.

No Spread Them Out for Resurrectionists.

No strategy points for anyone, anywhere.

The tie became eternal, 3-3 draw. 

Biting Insult Bites Back

 A 50ss game of Malifaux over Vassal.

Strategy: Standard Turf War

Schemes: Assassinate, Detonate Charges, Dig Their Graves, Power Ritual, Outflank

My list:

Seamus2 with The Whisper & Copycat Killer
Madame Sybelle
White Rabbit Co
Mourner with Grave Spirit Touch
Dead Doxy
Gravedigger
Rotten Belle

Pool: 7
Schemes: Dig Their Graves, Outflank

Opponent had:

Youko Hamasaki & Chiyo
Bill Algren
Hinamatsu
Kabuki Warrior
2x Bunraku
Tanuki
Geisha

Pool: 3
Schemes: Detonate Charges, Outflank

Turn 1:

What a game. What a game. 

I really liked the scheme pool on this one. You could plausibly bluff almost any of these schemes. 

Game started ordinarily enough.

The map involved quite a few bottlenecks which divided Ten Thunders into two segments. Up were Kabuki Warrior, Chiyo, Tanuki and Geisha. Middle had another Bunraku, Hinamatsu, Youko and Bill on top of a container of some sort. Bottom part was, well, Bunraku.

Tanuki had placed a scheme marker in corner and for a long time I was quite certain opponent had picked Power Ritual. 

Resurrectionists had a slightly more coherent line, with Copycat Killer holding high up, Gravedigger at the strategy marker and Madame Sybelle, Seamus, Rotten Belle and White Rabbit Co in the middle with Mourner not far behind. Seamus summoned another Dead Doxy, and the pair went to take the bottom flank. Non-summoned Doxy had been given a comfortable hat. Gravedigger had dropped a corpse and a scheme to my top corner, hinting at Dig Their Graves or Power Ritual.

Turn 2:

Rotten Belle moves forward and lures Hinamatsu to middle. And she didn't even have to spend any action points for it! Although she kind of did use six action points for it. Hinamatsu walked and charged her dead. 

Since Kabuki had been measuring if he'd be able to charge Copycat Killer, I got concerned for his wellbeing. White Rabbit Co gave a hat to Seamus and beckoned Copycat to Gravedigger.

Youko comes to interact with the middle marker. That seemed like a perfect spot for Madame Sybelle to charge to, engaging both Hinamatsu and Youko. She managed to soften up the puppet a little, nothing fancy. 

Chiyo runs to place a scheme on top outflank area and Mourner takes a double walk to get into a more relevant position with her aura. Bunraku runs to bottom outflank area, and Seamus puts on his aura and comes to tickle Hinamatsu. At least the puppet had to spend some resources to stay at five health remaining. The corpse of Rotten Belle  wasn't all that rotten or even so belle, when Seamus rised a Dead Dandy from the marker.

Dead Doxies manage to get the hatted Doxy to bottom outflank area, and even place a real scheme marker hugging the table edge. I had been worried on where Bill Algren was about to go, and he came to dance with Doxies instead of the (g)rave party in the middle. 

A Bunraku and Kabuki Warrior came to engage near the center while Tanuki and Geisha were still far from action. Gravedigger continued to secure Dig Their Graves end condition and interacted with strategy marker as well. 

Very last action for me was to take a double walk with Copycat Killer and engage Chiyo with Seamus, who also had a comfortable hat.

Scores go 1-2 for Resurrectionists when both score strategy and Doxy and Seamus both lost their hats at outflanking maneuver. 

Still looking like a normal, regular game for sure.

Turn 3:

I knew I was in for some rough time when in the first fourteen cards there were eight severes and only one card below six.

You'd imagine such draws at least gave me a good headstart? Nope. Hinamatsu activated first and attacked Madame Sybelle five times, not missing a single attack. It took four of my soulstones to even keep Madame at four health remaining...

Or maybe they didn't all go when Hinamatsu was mutilating Madame. Perhaps some were used when Bunraku attacked her. But that was only after White Rabbit had given a fancy hat for Madame and beckoned Kabuki Warrior away to do something distracting with Seamus, who was at the top outflank area.

Madame's survival was paramount, so Mourner walked and charged Youko and surprisingly claws her for some damage. Now Youko would need to spend possibly even two actions to get to Sybelle, and perhaps Bill would reconsider repositioning himself from bottom.

Tanuki healed Hinamatsu back to full. Seamus activates Urban Legend aura and spends remaining actions beating Chiyo with a bouquet. Not his best moment, nearly killing a kid with a bouquet. And only nearly. Kabuki Warrior charges Seamus and invades his personal space to such an extent that Copycat Killer is not able to place himself in melee with Chiyo. But at least he had one focused stat 5 attack versus Chiyo's defense of 4 and remaining health of one? Yeah, that he had, and... missed.

Yeah, but now there was a nice aura of automatic damage in the middle. And while scoring Dig Their Graves with Madame Sybelle's hat would probably mean Sybelle dying next turn, I was ready to make that trade. 

Except Madame Sybelle missed melee attack and missed Beckoning Call. Dead Dandy missed with his fancy cane, but at least landed a solid biting insult with Urban Legend triggering a damage on the puppet. Sheesh... that was already four mostly wasted action points.

It was somewhat of a comfort when Bill Algren with fast condition tried to challenge the summoned Dead Doxy, failed and then heroically intervened the other Dead Doxy. Instantly he saw the error of his ways and regretted all the wrongs he had done when Doxy flipped masks.

Bunraku at bottom had placed a scheme marker and went to engage summoned Doxy. By now it was clear that opponent had Outflank. Good thing that I had two 3" pushes available with stat 5 versus wp 5, the other of which would be with negative fate for Bill's defense. 

Failed, all failed. 

What is happening in here?! 

I feel like I had solid moves planned, but really - all that I actually achieved this turn was to strike a kid in the face with a bouquet and insult a wooden puppet! Well alright, there was that attack by Mourner against Youko that did a little damage, but that damage wasn't impactful.

Scores even out to 3-3 when both players get strategy and Ten Thunders reveals their outflank.

Turn 4:

Grave Spirit be praised! Resurrectionists won the initiative. Seamus activated, and thanks to The Whisper I knew I had no masks in initiative flip, in starting hand or three upcoming cards. As if I needed those soulstones anyway.  So Seamus was able to take Madame Sybelle by the hand and lead her away from Hinamatsu. He activated Urban Legend with bought Alone in the Dark and attacked Bunraku once, missing. Second attack went to Hinamatsu as I didn't want to attack Df 7 Bunraku. Guess what? It was a miss.

Bunraku tries to come to kill Madame Sybelle and almost succeeds at it when first attack spent my last soulstone in damage block and toppled her comfortable hat. Second attack fortunately missed.

Not a problem. There were plenty of hats where they came from! White Rabbit Co. came to offer their services immediately and tried to use beckoning call to move Bunraku to give it distracted and staggered. Madame Sybelle's scarlet temptation even gave negative fate for Wp 4 Bunraku. Yeah, miss. Needle and thread? Miss. So that's already seven action points of aggression towards the Bunraku, out of which only one insult hit home.

Gravedigger charges Bunraku next and misses. Last action goes to heal Madame Sybelle, and at least that was a decent severe. Next challenger was Mourner, who lands On Your Heels with Feed On Grief against Bunraku. Shocking. I actually hit with an attack and dealt one (1) damage point. Well, it was positive for me and negative for Bunraku. Although that doesn't guarantee anything as I learned in this game. Claw attacks scored On My Feels when they... missed. Ten action points. Two successes. 

By then Tanuki had not activated, but the lucky On Your Heels made it possible for me to block any easy line of sights to Bunraku. During the Bunraku beatings Bill Algren had killed Dead Doxy with one strike and Kabuki Warrior had done the same to Copycat Killer. 

Things were growing more desperate by the minute. But all was not lost! Bunraku was at half health remaining, so Madame Sybelle could get straight flip against it despite some distractions. Yeah, miss.

Alright. We still got one more chance. Kill Bunraku with last attack and score Pulled Here and There. Two fate cards. Bleeder Lash, go! AND LOOK AT THAT! Indeed Masks came up with a decent card of 10 and opponent had 9 and Red Joker was still in my deck. With original stats the attack would have hit. But because of extra defense from Bunraku's Df-trigger, the attack missed by one. Just for giggles Madame Sybelle tries Undivided Attention and flips Rams for healing trigger. But card value if five and needed six. Such a bad luck was no longer even annoying, it was straight out hilarious. Twelve actions, two successes. Two points of damage done by me, one by opponent.

But as it happened, Hinamatsu activated and went to attack Dead Dandy, failing her attacks. But then she takes Aggressive Stance and things take a surreal turn. Both players had taken notice of the absurd levels of bad luck and tiny cards Resurrectionists had got and deck was nearing empty. High cards were expected when Madame Sybelle, Mourner, Seamus, White Rabbit Co and Dead Dandy had to take Willpower 13 checks of gain Distracted. Not a single card was above four! They all failed!

Seriously? At this point one couldn't help but audibly laugh at the situation.

Dead Dandy activates next and turns a scheme Tanuki had placed into a corpse. 

Throughout the turn I had struggled to get required suits for my cards for anything to work. To end the train wreck of a turn with at least a psychic satisfaction of insulting a cute little furry, Dead Dandy declared a distracted Biting Insult at Tanuki.

And the thing is... Biting insult has no triggers at all. And that was where I managed to flip the Red Joker!

That really broke the bank and my stomach muscles still hurt from laughing spasms as I write this.

Turns out that yeah, it can get a lot, lot worse.

We didn't play fifth round when scores went to 3-4 for Ten Thunders from strategy.

I had relatively secure one point coming but zero chances of any additional points, while Ten Thunders had Outflank with 100% certainty and quite likely Detonate Charges and fourth strategy point.