During my trip to Kuhmo I played a traditional game of Warmachine.
It was a 35 point game and my list was:
Lich Lord Venethrax
Maximum unit of Satyxis Raiders + Sea Witch
Minimum unit of Bane Thralls + Unit Attachment
Bane Lord Tartarus
High Executioner Reznik
Minimum unit of Choir of Menoth
Minimum unit of Holy Zealots
Vassal of Menoth
Scenario was Close Quarters and Protectorate started game. First picture is taken from the end of Cryx turn 1. We played the grey movement tray as an obstacle, skaven screaming bell as obstruction and 5" AoE ring attached to a cardboard flower of sorts as a forest.
So far Kraken has tried to shoot Vilmon. Pow 14 just didn't do it, and Vilmon took only one point of damage. A choir member behind him died to the blast damage.
Turn 2 the Holy Zealots prayer for fervor and charged Satyxis. Only three got to make attacks, and only one hit.
Protectorate's heavy warjacks formed a wall to block Line of Sight to Reznik. Oh, and Reznik is the lone Bastion out there. Original model had broken down (or had never been glued in the first place...) so we needed a substitute. Amon has also had to endure an insulting demotion to a mere hierophant.
Reckoner tried to shoot the Sea Witch, but missed. Those words will be plentiful in this battle report. This and that missed.
Cryx... oh, hey. Don't get any crazy ideas there. I may sometimes make sub-par choices on the field, but even I cannot wreck my own undamaged colossal on my own turn. The wreck marker is for a bit more accurate positioning,
First Kraken activated and put a Zealot into its furnace. I had loaded the thing with Focus, and Kill Shot was targeted at a gathering of Knights Exemplar. The shot missed. At least the blast damage rolls (some of which were boosted) were enough to kill three Exemplars.
Venethrax activates and casts Lamentation. He then advances as far as he was required to get Reznik inside his control area. He had both Ignite and Iron Aggression on. Venethrax uses feat.
Satyxis use Power Swell and charge around. Leader misses both attacks on Rhupert. Two Satyxis damage Crusader for a grand total of two or three damage points. Third one missed.
Five combined melee attacking Satyxis manage to kill three Zealots. "Yo dawg, we heard you like misses, so we put misses in your misses so you can miss with a miss." One Satyxis tried to attack a Knights Exemplar, but either missed or didn't damage.
Bane Thralls tie up Vilmon so he wouldn't win scenario alone.
Turn 3 Zealots, Knights Exemplar and Reckoner butcher almost all the Satyxis. An honourable mention goes to Crusader, who managed to miss three out of its four possible attacks. Reznik uses his feat, which made otherwise "okay" situation into a challenging one, as I couldn't load up Kraken with Focus.
Kraken eats at least one, possibly two Zealots.
Tartarus charges Reckoner and curses Crusader. Damage roll was abysmal. Satyxis then get themselves out of the way of Bane Thralls, and fail their command check because of Reznik's Terror. Good thing that Venethrax has command 9, because they didn't fail Venethrax' command roll. Out of all the attacks they did, only one hit but dealt no damage to Crusader.
Bane Thrall officer mauls respectable damage in to Crusader. Another Bane Thrall that was able to charge it... missed.
Venethrax advanced with full camp.
Turn 4 for Protectorate was an onslaught of terrible misses. With all of their combined might, Reckoner and one P+S 15 weapon master Knights Exemplar took only about half of Kraken's damage boxes. With no systems broken. Only an Ancillary Attack from Vassal caused Kraken to lose right arm.
Devout missed both attacks against Satyxis. Crusader did manage to destroy Bane Thrall officer.
Cryx loaded up Kraken with full focus, who rolls for some absurd damage against Reckoner and wrecks it. Of course effective P+S 23 helped there.
Remaining Satyxis, a Bane Thrall and Bane Lord Tartarus do some damage to Crusader, but I think it lost only movement and the fist weapon.
Turn 5 Protectorate kills Tartarus, and the last remaining Satyxis fails a command check. Reznik comes to the sight, and I curse my poor positioning, as Venethrax wouldn't be able to charge him from behind an obstacle. He was camping something like four or five Focus. Reznik, I mean. Not Venethrax.
Venethrax then loads up Kraken and shoots Vilmon dead with a boosted Hellfire instead. Kraken and Bane Thralls dispatch half-dead Crusader. Rolls are generally fairly poor, and I had hoped Crusader would go down in just a couple of swings. Devout might have suffered a few attacks, then. But as I had only one Focus left after wrecking Crusader, Kraken made an attack against Rhupert instead. Kraken hit him and killed him, and Kill Shot was launched against Hierophant, Vassal and last remaining choir members. Needless to say, the shot missed and killed only one of the choir boys. Sure... both Hierophant and Vassal did get caught under the template. But POW 10 blast damage only gave them a new haircut.
Turn 6 Saxon Orrik killed the Bane Thrall standard bearer. Somehow you'd think the old man is not such a great melee piece, but he does have MAT 7 and P+S 10, which actually is a fairly good chance of taking a Bane out. Then it was a clear charge to Venethrax with Reznik, who cast Engine of Destruction.
Why the title?
Well... I'll just leave this here. Call it Arcane Wonder, Effigy of Valor or even a Stockpile.